If we don’t guide our children, who will?
If we don’t hold our children accountable, who will?
If we don’t teach our children, who will?
If we don’t discipline our children, who will?
If we don’t punish our children, who will?
If we don’t do these things for our children, do we really even love them?
My son and (middle) daughter are very close in age, usually they are found playing together. Recently my son had a friend over. We will call the friend Quin (for privacy matters). Quin, the whole time he was over, yelled at my two daughters. He would tell my four year old to get away, to not talk to him, to not touch him. He would tell my daughter (close in age to my son) to stay out of my son’s room, that she wasn’t allowed to play, that she wasn’t included.
In my home that’s a big no, no. My son knew this and chose to go along with Quin in being unkind to his sister’s. After many warnings that if the behavior didn’t stop Quin would go home and my son would be grounded. The behavior didn’t stop and Quin was sent home. My son was grounded for a week-ish, and I had a stern talk with him about how we don’t treat our sister’s (family in general).
This weekend I decided to give Quin another chance and allowed Quin and another friend of my son’s to stay over. We will call the other friend Blade (for privacy matters). Blade has been over to my home many times and he has caught on to what I expect. No horse play inside the house, no food and drinks in the bedrooms, no cuss words, no using God’s Name in vain, and we include everyone.
I had sent a quick text to Quin’s mom before he came over, asking that she have a talk with him and explain that he was not allowed to be mean to my daughter’s like he was the last time he was over, and if he was he would be sent home. She reassured me she would have a talk with him.
The last time he was sent home for not being nice and I told her how he had been acting she didn’t handle it at all. In fact she didn’t say anything (no apology, nothing). She just blew it off like it was nothing.
The boy’s came over. They were playing, having fun. I made finger foods they all scarfed the foods down. All but Quin. His mom had given me some items he would eat, but he refused. All he wanted to do was play video games. That was fine but the other kid’s were a little bored by the video games, so I had them watch a little television. I was trying to get them to settle in for the night. The lights were turned down and the kids were trying to be quiet and watch the show but Quin wouldn’t stop talking, to the point I decided to ask him if he would rather just go play the video game. He got very excited and off he went, up the stairs to play some games.
The other kid’s told me they were going to pull an “all nighter”. If you don’t know what that means, it means you stay up all night. I’ve done it many times as a child-some times I failed miserably.
After a while I dozed off. I woke up to commotion. A lot of commotion. Here came my daughter and Blade. They couldn’t tell me quick enough what Quin had done and said. My son wasn’t included in all the commotion because he had fallen asleep during the time they were watching television.
It wasn’t long before I realized Quin was a disturbed little boy. Blade told me Quin was calling my daughter’s cuss words and flipping them all off (putting up his middle finger) and waving it in front of his body. Blade told him he knew I wouldn’t like this and he was going to come tell me. Quin said he didn’t care and he wasn’t scared of me. I had all the kids come in the living room. I heard their story and asked Quin if it were true. He didn’t deny it. I told him he was going home and I was telling his mom and dad. He was screaming at me that he didn’t care. Mind you, all of this was over a video game, because he wanted to be the one in control of the rules and the kids wouldn’t listen to him.
Quin ended up storming out of my house telling me to shut up, to “f” off, and saying Jesus’s Name in vain with some added cuss words. I tried reaching out to his mom but got no response. Two days later and I still haven’t received an apology for how her son acted.
I would be embarrassed if my child (children) went to someone’s home and acted the way Quin acted here.
If the situation was flipped and Quin was my son, I would first beg the mother to forgive me (through text). I would have a very stern talk with Quin and within no time I would be knocking on the mother’s door, Quin next to my side, him bawling due to being ashamed and apologizing for his actions.
None of this has taken place and I don’t see it happening anytime soon. Usually Quin’s mom texts me frequently. I’ve not heard a word since this mess occurred.
Revert back to the top of this page. What’s the answer? Prison! That’s the answer.